Seasonally inspired things to Learn, Make and Do


On being disruptive

dahlias at dusk

A few years ago my friend Liz introduced me at an event as someone 'disrupting the face of retail'.

At the time I thought it hilarious, for in reality I will do almost anything to avoid conflict, but now I'm considering adopting it when people at parties ask me what I do. I'm contemplating living up to the description.

Over this past year, with so much time alone to think, I've become more and more discontented with the way we do things as a society, with the way we treat people, with what we are doing to the natural world, with all the things we put up with just because 'that is the way it is'.

So many things need to be disrupted in the world today. I now cannot bear to run a business unless it is disrupting some of them.

These are a few things that I hold to be simple truths.

We do not reward the right things with money in our society. Over the past week I have been helping to look after my parents-in-law in their home. My mother-in-law has dementia and keeping her calm, engaged, safe, fed and stable is a difficult and exhausting job. It is a job that needs great patience, sensitivity, empathy and stamina.

It is likely that the carers who took over the role from today are being paid minimum wage, possibly less if they are on a contract that excludes travel time.

I'm not even going to go into the plight of unpaid carers, the chronically ill, the people on universal credit or those here as refugees and asylum seekers on minimal benefits. I will simply say that money is not distributed fairly in our society and that all business owners should be mindful of that.

It should be a basic human right that we are able to connect to the natural world. We are all part of that world and need to be able to engage with it- whether that is having access to green space, areas to grow things or spaces to sit and contemplate the world around us. I also believe that it is a basic human right to be able to cook and eat nourishing food and to have access to local, affordable, seasonal ingredients.

As the owner of a business that is slap bang in the middle of all those things, selling seeds, writing recipes, photographing nature, I need to be much more inclusive than I have been in the past.

The forces of capitalism and consumerism rely on forcing constant growth. They engineer that by deliberately making people feel that their worth is something outside themselves - something that they need to buy - rather than intrinsic to every single one of us.

In the 1980s, the American feminist writer Audre Lord wrote a famous essay about how using traditional patriarchal academic frameworks was simply disguising the racism and homophobia within feminism and stopping the braver, more inclusive, discussions that could dismantle them. "For the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house. They may allow us temporarily to beat him at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change. And this fact is only threatening to those women who still define the master's house as their only source of support".

This is exactly how I currently feel about consumerism - footering around inside a traditional consumerist business model, tinkering at the edges, just isn't enough any more (though for a long, long time I felt that consumer culture was my only source of support and I really do understand that fear). My version of the 'good business' simply disguised the need for change. Instead I need to actively help people to see that they are enough already.

While I was on my 'holiday' last week I thought about this a lot - about how I can change the business without destroying it (see there is that fear). I had already moved all the seeds and supplies into something that is pretty much a co-operative buying model. I buy in bulk, I pack into smaller amounts and sell to members direct without a mark up (though there is a packing charge as I will need to pay somebody to do that at some point). I'm writing growing guides which I will send with orders so that people have the very best chance of growing things successfully (I've completed the sweet peas, the rest will follow).

What is new is that I am going to introduce an integrated 'pay what you can' membership level to the Club. It is something that has actually always been there in the small print, but people had to email me so I could set it up. As soon as I actually thought about how that feels, I realised it was ridiculous to think that was more accessible.

And the fear is there - talking to people about my plans has led to startled expressions, lots of people have used the 'brave' word, even 'cavalier' (from Euan). My parents think I may be deranged. What if everyone decides to grab a bargain and pay as little as possible? What if I have a repetition of the Mumsnet fiasco?* What if I destroy the business and have to quit and get a 'proper job'? And what if certain friends are right and this is actually just a fear of money, a playing small, an excuse to fail.

But it had become clear while on holiday that we are in this anxious time for the long haul, that having the tools to connect to nature, to grow things, make things, to actively engage rather than escape - that all these things are incredibly important. They are more important than whether I'm a bit scared that people will take advantage.

* When I first launched the club I had a voucher for a free month and a welcome pack. Somebody posted on Mumsnet that you could sign up, "get your free stuff" and then cancel before paying anything. And lots of people did. And I lost a lot of money. And I lost a lot of faith.

Tags: life

Comments: 5 (Add)

Gillie Smellie on September 22 2020 at 13:13

I think you are being very brave but you are not alone in your decision to reconsider the future and how that future is created. The quote from Audre Lorde sums up the approach of disrupters across the social and political spectrum. Yes, I am sure there will be people who take advantage, those who can well afford a full price but chose not to. But there has been a paradigm shift over the past few years, and the pay what you can (and similarly pay what you feel - used particularly in arts venues and based on perceived value rather than ability to pay) is no longer seen by everyone as a cheap option, but a means to share one's own resources whilst one has them, we are all acutely aware today how rapidly the financial rug can be pulled away under one's feet . I know several organisations (from food to art) who have used PWYC and have not lost revenue but instead seen overpayment subsidise the underpayment by those who would otherwise be excluded.

Exclusion is something that we don't tend to realise until it applies to us. We may know that various minority and socio-economic groups are excluded from an activity but it is easy to think of it in theory, rather than the reality that affects the excluded. Exclusion is intersectional and is often self-perpetuating, every step that removes one barrier makes it easier to dismantle another.

I also smiled when I read your earlier post about monetising a hobby. Whilst juggling various plant dye pots on the stove and in the garden and patiently hand sewing and rebel stitching projects, my husband asked why I didn't set up as a business. I said I love what I do, if I monetise it I may no longer be able to love it so much. I have fallen down that rabbit hole before and don't wish to do so again. Perhaps I should consider PWYC or PWYF and be as brave as you are.

Jane on September 22 2020 at 13:35

Thanks Gillian - I believe that you are right, though it was rather horrifying researching this as to how many people are not of the same view as us!
(Danielle LaPorte's comments in particular are full of people choosing to pay as little as possible for her planners - paying a price that she says in the product listing doesn't cover any staff costs - 'because the postage to the UK is so high').
I am very aware that this is something I would not have considered doing while I was paying people's wages - it would have felt too risky I think, I would have worried that I was in fact as naive as people say.

Gillie Smellie on September 22 2020 at 13:59

Most organisations I know that use PAYF/PWYC are co-ops, the risk is taken collectively. I can understand that the need to pay wages can make risk taking more frightening as it is not just your livelihood at stake. I suspect that Danielle LaPorte and other larger organisations that go down that route do so on limited income streams to ensure overall revenue is not drastically affected. Not so easy if you are a small organisation with only a handful of income streams and staff salaries to consider. I wonder if purchasers of DLP's planner, for example, thought that as she was a high profile individual with a large and (presumably) profitable business, she didn't need the money, but would have thought differently if it was a small start up? Even as purchasers we have bias!

Kate Main on September 23 2020 at 08:57

There is so much to say about this. Pay what you feel has been used by the restaurant industry to encourage trade on quiet weekday nights. By being in the venue it’s much more difficult to pay too little - you feel more of an obligation.
I know you’ve written before of having Instagram followers who have your values and you would hope that this would sustain a more inclusive business model.
A fourth sector model of social enterprise wouldn’t necessarily work for what you plan.
I am really interested in what you’ve written and your concern for change. Fully inclusive does have risks of you being exploited - does your business model allow you to thrive? Does a pay it forward model work outside the arts ( or food for homeless - SocialBite) where there is a strong sense of engagement ...... so back to the value of engagement online.
I’d be very interested to read your continued thoughts through your website - please keep writing.

Jane on September 23 2020 at 09:50

Thanks Kate - Yes it is all a big experiment! I have no idea if it will work or whether people will feel put off, or indeed that it is unfair.
All I know if that if I am truly committed to having as many people connect back into seasonal living and into being part of the natural world, as a source of individual strength to move out from - well then I have to make that as accessible as possible (there are other levels of accessibility besides cash as well which I am also trying to address)

Snapdragon social

The packing bench in the studio.⁠⠀
Sometimes I turn around and things just look so pretty together.⁠⠀
Labelling pale pink socks with the plant they were dyed with and the date they went into the dye pot.⁠⠀
The perfect almond glue for sticking paper, jute string for tying things up.⁠⠀
Amazingly I didn't even have to tidy up to take a photo - though it is quite a tight crop and the background is a blur.⁠⠀
For the past year the bedroom windowsill has been neglected. It has had stones and bones and the blue speckled pot of bird food, but no flowers.⁠⠀
I couldn't really work out why.⁠⠀
Then, as soon as I got the urge to line up my vases again,I realised what the problem had been. ⁠⠀
In March last year - as I was shielding and Euan is a front line worker - I moved to the spare room. ⁠⠀
I was very, very bad at it - despite the room being very nice - and huffed and moped and felt I was being punished. I eventually slunk back to my own bed after two months. ⁠⠀
The deal was that if Euan thought it was a risk he would phone from work and I would move my things back to the spare bedroom.⁠⠀
I kept expecting - despite all the precautions, the scrubs, the showering - that I might have to go back. ⁠⠀
Last week I had my second jab, the numbers look good, and, though Scotland is behind England in opening up, I can see the country beginning to relax. ⁠⠀
It felt safer, I went and found a jug for the cherry blossom.
I began doing freehand embroidery when my daughters were tiny - a deliberate wiggle and flourish when hemming seemed preferable to my wobbly attempts at keeping the needle straight.⁠⠀
Then, when I began to sew commercially to have some income in the winter months, it seems like the perfect technique.⁠⠀
Getting the chance to exhibit at the Country Living Fair in 2005 got me speeded up and it certainly felt like my thousands of hours were put in then.⁠⠀
Today I start teaching an e-course to Studio Club members which will hopefully enable them to begin drawing with they sewing machines.⁠⠀
The module that will arrive with them today is all about machines and materials - with the message that the simpler the machine the better.⠀
It gave me a chance to tidy my sewing desk.
Today is the last day to sign up as a member of the Studio Club.⁠⠀
So if you are ready for more connection and creativity in your life . . . .⁠⠀
If you could do with a bit of calm and gentle joyfulness . . . . ⁠⠀
If you want to find out more about the living things around you . . . to slow down . . . to feel more 'at home' . . .⁠⠀
Then head over to my website to find out more.⁠⠀
There is a 'Pay what you can' option -  it is always the most difficult to get people to sign up for, and yet I know if would be perfect for so many.
It has been a joy this week to see the bantam hens all out enjoying their freedom.⁠⠀
It is the one point in the year when we have an abundance of eggs - they are late starters and then hide them all as soon as the weather warms up.⁠⠀
I have been spending time sitting watching them peck around the orchard - feathers ruffled by the wind, heads down eyes trained for tasty morsels.⁠⠀
I decided to make a hen embroidery the last part of the 'freehand machine embroidery' e-course that starts on Tuesday. ⁠⠀
The aim is to break downtime the processor freehand embroidery into very simple steps - with a different exercise each week, building skills and confidence until you can draw with a sewing machine by week 5.⁠⠀
The course is included in the Studio Club membership - if you want to take it live, week by week, you have 24 hours to join up.  Details on
This week I have been drawn to white and bright and light.⁠⠀
In the flowers I picked for the Studio Window.⁠⠀
In the cool white Scottish linen I've been embroidering.⁠⠀
It's a clean feeling, a throwing off - probably because I've been stuck with a dragging, draining fatigue for a few weeks.⁠⠀
It's that wondrous clarity that you get when you realise that you can open your eyes wide again.
If I could persuade people of two things they would be . . .⁠⠀
1. to seek alternatives for domestic cut flowers until their local field flowers are blooming (which is almost now here in Scotland ).⁠⠀
and . . . ⁠⠀
2. to pay attention to the daily changes where you live.⁠⠀
These are snippets of hawthorn and hornbeam hedge arranged in test tubes - but they could also be in bottles or small vases and they could be any kind of deciduous tree or shrub. ⁠⠀
Every day they emerge a little more, every hour they catch the light in a different way.  All week they have made me smile.⁠⠀
Last year I dumped a load of finished tulips from pots into a metal box, intending to plant them out in the garden.⁠⠀
I completely forgot and all summer the box looked as through it was just a heap of used compost.⁠⠀
Most days I walked past it - always intending to take it to the compost heap - until last month it began to sprout.⁠⠀
This is some of the 'free' (if rather mangled) tulips from the box.⁠⠀
I have replanted them into the old terracotta pots and propped up the wayward stems with bits of hedge.⁠⠀
Then - I promise - I shall plant them out properly when the finish flowering this time.

About Snapdragon Life

At Snapdragon Life I gently guide you through bringing the changing seasons into your daily life, helping you slow down, so that you can experience increased well being, calm and creativity.


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